The Sitter

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

The Sitter - 1 out of 5

When I first saw the trailer to this film, I thought, "Hmmm, I like this movie more when it was called Adventures in Babysitting" and after sitting through it, my thoughts haven't changed.

Because we all know that kids automatically equal funny in movies.
We really need a sarcastic font.

So, the story goes as this:  Jonah Hill plays a shiftless layabout who ends up babysitting some kids.  His emotionally abusive girlfriend calls him and coaxes him (through a man's only weakness:  sex) to come out to the city and get her some cocaine.  So, Hill's character decides to take the kids along and then one of the most painfully unfunny films I've seen in a long time ensues.

On IMDb, it's stated that this is the last film featuring the "fat" Jonah Hill.
Hopefully it is also the last film featuring the "unfunny" Jonah Hill.

The movie really wants you to find this kid to be
funny.  They just forgot to make him funny.

Nothing in this film works.  The premise is only a slight alteration from Adventures in Babysitting and all the jokes placed within its story are so ridiculously unfunny, it's almost like Dane Cook provided his own, non-stolen material for it.  Then, the movie wants to try and push the idea that Jonah Hill is a charming, sweet and insightful man that, mysteriously, women are drawn to.  The problem is Hill can't pull it off because he's too busy playing this role the same way he plays all his comedy roles.  And the kids...well, they're just plain annoying.  So, basically, they are your basic children.  The only saving grace of the film is the fact that Sam Rockwell is in it but he's far too talented to be attached to this film.  I can only hope he was bored when he accepted the movie or did it on a dare. 

Did you need the money or something?  You're better than this, Rockwell.

Adventures in Babysitting The Sitter can only be described as a weak attempt at doing a comedy.  Literally every problem within the film is solved too easily and too cleanly that it makes the film reek of mediocrity.  The film seemed to shy away from any real conflict and decided that every obstacle faced should easily be eliminated in order to get to the next easily overcome speed-bump and/or bad joke.  Add to the recipe that all the jokes held within are so unoriginal or completely unfunny that as I watched the film, I started to fantasize about doing more productive things like cleaning my gutters, doing my taxes or committing suicide.